#9 Performances

It was a hectic day with all the best parts of being a council member in a small town. In the morning I was invited to watch a senior citizen step team perform. What a treat! Then they served us a covered dish luncheon with the best of homemade food: fried chicken, ham, meatballs, macaroni & cheese, potato salad, cooked green beans, corn, deviled eggs, oh my! I can’t remember it all.
As I was serving my plate, a lady touched my arm and said, “I want you to go over there and get a slice of that homemade pineapple cake.” I smiled and said, “OK, Thank you,” and continued serving my plate.
She touched me again. “I mean NOW.” So I left the dinner line, ran to the dessert table, and got a slice of heavenly, made-from-scratch 3-layer pineapple cake with buttercream frosting.
It was worth the special trip.
Then in the evening I headed to our high school where I served as a judge for students’ senior projects.
What a treat.
I was a member of a team who judged 5 high school seniors who presented their requisite projects for graduation. 14 other teams judged kids throughout the school for a total of 70 presentations.
The kids have worked on these projects for a year and a half. They have practiced their oral delivery with mentors and advisors. They dressed up in their Sunday best and presented to us.
What’s always so surprising is how nervous they are.
The topics ranged from History of the Marine Corps to Benefits of Organic Food.
Every team of judges has an asshole, someone who is ultra-critical or loves to hear himself talk —or both— and I try not to be that person. I give them lots of encouragement and if they have given it good effort, I rank them high as the sky and send them on their way.
So the day started and ended with watching people do their best to perform for me.
It doesn’t get much better than that.
#LoveMyLife

#8 Family

Our SIL had his wisdom teeth removed today so T called and asked if we might keep her #1 son. I will call him GGS1. Would we!?

They arrived early  in the morning. He had had a banana, and said he did not want to "eat-eat." Hubby cooked bacon and eggs anyway, and we set a bowl in front of the boy. He ate! We felt that we should give the referees' "touchdown" signal.

We sat a while in Nana's chair and watched choo-choo videos on Youtube. As 9:30 rolled around I packed him up and we headed to the library. A local preschool was just entering for story time but GGS1 just wanted to play with choo-choos.

The library has a train table and rolling bins filled with tracks, trains, people and wooden blocks. They have fancy bridges. They have Y's and V's and all sorts of interchanges.

We had played for about 40 minutes when a mom entered with her daughter, another 2yo. The kids co-played, sometimes handing things to each other, sometimes holding fiercely onto others.

11:00 rolled around and I began to detach him to head home for nap time. He became angry and actually hit me! I picked him up, told him I love him, and it makes me sad when he hits.

He compliantly helped me pick up (a little) and we headed home for nap.

He returns in about an hour so T can work tonight. SIL is still too groggy to watch his kids. We are happy to accommodate.

#7 Warmth

As we count down the last days of public service, I took my last ride in the Veterans’ Day Parade. It was a glorious fall day— brilliant blue sky, cadmium leaves and just a bit of a chill in the air. Smiling onlookers smiled and waved tiny American flags as we cruised by, resplendent in our vintage convertibles. As I thanked veterans for their service, many of them called back, “And thank you for yours!”
It was a real Norman Rockwell kind of experience.
I rushed home to prepare dinner for guests: a friend and his daughter, whom he has not seen in some time. She came to visit from Arizona, where she dissects archeological bits for a museum.
Dear Hubby helped soon as he got home from work, picking fresh kale from the garden and lighting candles around the house.
We had grilled salmon with lemon caper aeoli, buttered rice and sautéed kale. Focaccia and gorgonzola. A light rose wine. Coffee after with just a tiny scoop of lemon sherbet and one piece of chocolate on top.
The daughter is just lovely, physically beautiful, kind and so so smart. Her dad looked at her with a heart full of love. We looked at him looking at her and enjoyed the reflections of pure emotion.
Altogether it was just a great, warm day.

#6 Two Goodbyes

A dear sweet 94-yo man passed away this weekend, and his funeral was today. Clyde Young was a member of the Civitan Club of Salisbury for seventy years. Yes, you read that correctly. He joined the club in 1947.
Thirty of us Civitans  crowded in the front rows of the church for his service. Women and men, most of us past a certain age, all dressed up and paying homage to a kind man who just loved to play his trumpet.
He was a pediatric dentist so early that dentistry barely knew what that was. He served in the Navy in WWII. He was a kind man and a good dad.
Me, I'm not too sure about the Great Beyond. Luckily I can't sing so I didn't have to make professions I don't believe. But I try to get what I can out of every experience and today's message was the simplest of all: Life is a gift. Try to share your gift with as many as you can.

I dashed from the 11:00 funeral to the 12:00 Transit Board meeting: my last as Council liaison. To my surprise, they had a nice little luncheon and cake (my favorite vegetable!) in my honor. One member had written a letter and stood to read it to me. The Director gave a little message about me, too, and presented me with a gift: 100 bus passes for our annual Christmas giveaway at the homeless shelter.

I left feeling very loved and appreciated. Life is a gift.

#5 A New Council

Today marked another major step in my transition from Council member to private citizen. The next new Council was elected.
Determined to exit gracefully, I did not endorse anyone. To the dozens of people who asked me whom to vote for, I politely declined.
We had the right to vote for 5 people to serve on Council, but I found only four who deserved my vote. All four were elected. Best of all, my friend Al Heggins came in first and should be selected as Mayor, if our Council honors the city’s centuries-old tradition.
I couldn’t be prouder of Al. She stayed on the high road, steadfastly refusing to say a negative word about her competitors. She tirelessly knocked on doors, even as late as the night before the election. She ran a clean, strong campaign — and she won.
At the December 5 meeting, I step down — and she swears in. Life doesn’t get much better than that.
#LoveMyLife

#4 Appreciation and Beef Bourguignon

I was awakened this morning by a text from a friend: "Great letter from A.R. Should b whole page full!"
Turned out a citizen had written a letter to the editor in the local paper recognizing some things I had done and lamenting my imminent departure from Council. I have to admit it was a great way to wake up.
J and I traveled to Winston-Salem and shopped at Whole Foods for the better part of the afternoon. I made beef bourguignon for the first time ever tonight, and it was amazing. Yes, I drank some of the cabernet as I cooked -- but J loved it, too, and he didn't have any. So there.

#3 Globe

J and I started our day riding our bikes to the Farmers’ Market, then to the downtown bike shop. He cooked a yummy dinner and we watched a Netflix show about a hotel in Singapore.
It’s been a little chilly so we’ve had the tiniest fire in the fireplace.
We are closing out the night learning all about India on Globe Trekkers.
It’s a big world out there. How much more will we see in our lifetime?

#2 Sanity

As I get older, I find that sanity is a highly underrated commodity. We don't say thanks for it when we say Grace. We don't acknowledge it when we see it. It's a lot like a clean house: we only notice it when it's NOT there.

My life is much like yours, jammed to bursting with work and friends and family and a zillion meetings where action is sometimes taken, but more often just talked about. In-between, I struggle to accomplish the mundane but necessary tasks: checkups for me and the family with doctor, dentist, and eye physician. Calendars. Carpools. Laundry. Pet care. Litter boxes. Unload the dishwasher. Eat. Load and run. Repeat.

In-between those, comes self-care: showers, hair, makeup, caring for contacts, reading, philosophizing, mani's and pedi's.

I find the older I get, the more I need to take a few moments every day for quiet. No surfing. No reading. Not even a quiet little podcast. Quiet, calm, and still. Four measly minutes a day.

Ah, sanity.

#1. Returning to Normal. If we can remember what Normal is.

I have not posted to my dear Blog in over seven years. Is this a sign? Are there other things in my life I've neglected for seven years?
With only 31 days left of public service, I've begun transitioning to normal life. With intention.
I've written letters to the people who helped me make public service successful. The street hole guy. The Fire Chief. The City Clerk. Lots of friends who held fundraisers, pulled up campaign signs, that kind of thing.
I've planned a retreat for the week after I "step down." A week by myself in my favorite city. A couple of private art classes. Yoga. Art galleries, long walks, weather permitting.
I've attended the last meetings of my boards & commissions. They had cake. Little gifts.
So.... deep breath. It's happening. This whirlwind life, being "on," being available to the public, is coming to an end. Soon.
After eight years, it has become my normal.
But--
It's not normal.
Normal is normal.
Privacy. Not being approached in public places about problems. Not getting texts or voice mails when someone is shot or killed. Going to market without pearls on.
Will I miss it? Certainly.
But it's soon over. And I have surely missed normal.
So this blog, this dormant blog, is about to fire up.
In a nice way.
Someone I admire has blogged every day for years, at the end of each day -- about something she is grateful for. Not political rants. Not whining or wishing. Just gratitude.
This is what I hope to do. Because, even at my age, I aspire to be a better person.
Don't we all?

Back to School Shopping

Little One announced to me last week we needed to shop for school clothes. I was a little surprised at this, since her high school allows students to wear jeans. We bought 1,000,000 new tops last year and I honestly thought I was done for the high school career.

But, no. Varsity cheerleaders are required to wear dresses on Fridays (football players must wear shirt and tie). And, all her tops are sooo last year. But her shoe stock is plentiful (read that plen-ti-FULL), and her accessories, handbags are all in order. As a (grand) parent I feel underwear is our responsibility, and I'm happy to provide that end of things. (pun intended)

In years past I have served many roles on shopping trips: chauffeur, dressing room organizer, runner for other sizes, opinion giver, one who keeps her mouth shut on occasion, and censor. I've not often had to serve as censor as LO is quite modest and doesn't often look at inappropriate clothing. Usually I just have to ask her to consider the long-term usefulness of a given garment. Most of all I serve as the Almighty Wallet. I pay and pay until I finally draw the line.

This year I am aware it's only a few short years until she goes to college. I haven't really been fair to her by allowing her to be unaware how much things cost.

Because she only needed some tops and a couple of dresses, I set the budget at $200. Yesterday I gave her 2 crisp $100 bills and explained to her I will serve as chauffeur, dressing room runner, and opinion-giver, when I am asked. She is to select what she needs, what she wants, and budget it all within her clothing allowance.

I chose to give her $100 bills so the limitation would not be lost. It's easy to think you have lots of money with a fistful of $20s. I wanted her to see the $100s spend away a bit at a time.

On the way to Nearby City for the mall, Little One realized she had forgotten to bring her handbag and asked me to keep her money for her. No, sorry, I replied, the money is your responsibility. If I held it, her awareness of how much she had left might get lost.

She coped. Fortunately her shorts had pockets with buttons. So we were off.

We. had. a. blast.

Although she never said, so, I think LO really enjoyed having to manage her own money. I think she enjoyed the freedom to spend on what she felt was important, without my influence. I will say we were closer on this trip than on any other, because, I think, she was the Decider.

LO has never been one to look at sale racks. Did I say never? Never.

This time, she bee-lined to sales. She considered the relative value of the items she bought: "I can buy ONE of these, or with the same money, I could get TWO of those. But I like this one better. Hmm." It was truly a pleasure to observe her deliberating.

At the very end, she about $70 left. She tried on two dresses marked down to $23 each, but they required sweaters as one dress had spaghetti straps, and the other was strapless, neither of which is allowed at school without a sweater or jacket. She tried them on with cute sweaters, which of course, were not on sale, priced at $37.50 each.

Both dresses looked great on her. The sweaters were perfect for the respective dresses, as well.

Both dresses were certainly affordable with her remaining money. But the sweaters, cute as they were, were not. And to make it more challenging, the colors were so diverse that one sweater could not suffice for both dresses.

She considered and re-considered. Tried on both outfits again. Finally, and without drama, she selected the dress-sweater that looked the best and would serve the most occasions, and pleasantly returned the other dress and sweater to their racks in the store.



For her money, LO bought:

o 3 very cute tops from American Eagle, a pricey teen store where everything was 40% off.
o 1 little black dress, sheath style and a black-and-white sweater. Both on sale at Charlotte Rousse.
o 1 dressy spaghetti-strap dress from Aeropostale, ditto remarks on American Eagle. Sort of sheer with tiny floral print. Ruffle tiers down its length. Started at over $100, was marked down to $46, but everything in store was 1/2 off. Price: $23.
o 1 ivory cardigan with 3/4 sleeves, also from Aeropostale. $37.50
o 1 white cotton dirndl skirt with Battenburg lace at the hem.
o 1 navy peasant blouse with white embroidery.

Result: she has a comfy, casual skirt-and-top, a grown-up looking black dress, and a dressy, flirty dress. 3 tops for jeans or shorts plus the peasant top which can go with the skirt or jeans.

The experiment exceeded even my own best hopes and I daresay this is how we'll shop in the future.