Sunday, December 30
DH plays violin at church
Second day and video uploaded beautifully, following exact same steps as yesterday. Go figure.
The secret to uploading videos on YouTube seems to be giving it a shot 100 times, and finally it goes. I am exhausted after the 72nd time so here is the video, right here. Someone told me that if you check the 2nd day, YouTube will have the video loaded for each time you tried. If that's the case, I'll have 72 versions of it tomorrow and can post a nice little link. Til then, here is the long-awaited song.
After he played, LO asked me why I cried. I told her I'm so thankful for his music; when he had the accident and lost his finger, I thought the music was all over. She replied that she's just thankful we don't have to hear this song anymore. :)
Thursday, December 20
OverWhelmAtion
I am still processing my day so the entry you are reading is not the result of thinking about, but the very act of doing so.
Today was Criminal Justice Day for my Leadership group. We started out by meeting at the city's police station. Our police chief talked to us, then the gangs guy, then the Juvenile Courts Counselor, then the District Judge. He was followed by two social service agencies, both partially privately-funded, who serve juveniles who have run afoul of the law. Then we had lunch. Whew. A full morning.
Following lunch, we boarded a city bus which took us to the edge of town to visit our high-rise prison. Well, for our town it's high-rise. I guess it's about 10 stories? The highest building in Our Fair City is 8. :)
The woman who gave us our tour was phenomenal. She's a case worker for the inmates and gave us a detailed tour of the facility. We walked in the "yard," surrounded by walls topped with coiled razor wire. We were stared at by the inmates as they pumped iron, played basketball, or just stood in the mild afternoon and chatted.
We saw the open showers and johns. We toured the dining hall. Our guide held up a plastic spork and asked how we would like to eat with these for 15 years. Yikes. Crime deterrent, there. No, all jokes aside, the public john is enough to deter me from ever committing a crime.
We toured the un-air-conditioned processing center. We saw the laundry area. There is a furniture factory on the grounds where well-behaved inmates can work, earning up to $10 a day. Most prison have Enterprise opportunities like this. Their products go back to the State.
Finally, we were escorted to a dayroom where four inmates told us about their prison experience as well as their crimes. Three of the four are convicted murderers, 1 first-degree, 2 second-degree, and the fourth fellow was convicted of aggrevated assault. They have all been in for about 15 years and the soonest one to get out will be released in 5 years.
They talked about what it's like to be in prison (you never, ever let your guard down.) They shared that every prisoner cries in bed at night on occasion. They talked about monotony, and missing your family. They were all attractive, young men, 1 black, 3 white; 1 shaved head, 3 with short hair. (We did observe some men in the yard with very long hair, so apparently short hair is not the only option.) They talked about their crimes, although not one of them stated, "I shot a man" -- the wording was always something like, "Someone got shot." They were articulate men, using words like "ironic" and "dogmatic." Had I seen them in another setting, and had the conversation been on another topic, I would never have thought they were convicts, much less killers. Our conversation with them was ended too, too quickly, and we had run out of time. We had to move on to see a SWAT demonstration and K9 unit across the county.
There are 23 people in our program. Bankers, social workers, a hospital administrator, a couple of private business employees, 4 county or city workers, and me. As we walked out of the prison, everyone was chatting, laughing, being very normal -- everyone except myself and one other person. The other gal was overwhelmed by the dehumanization of the whole thing. She felt there must be another to rehabilitate the offenders. She was able to explain clearly why she was emotional.
Me -- I was not so articulate. I was just blown away by the whole experience. Could not understand why everyone was joking and laughing as if things were normal. Why did they not need to be quiet and process all they had just seen? Why were they so loud? I found it annoying, and this further exacerbated my frustration.
I still don't know how I feel -- just that I FEEL. I'm not quite the bleeding heart that my friend was. She felt the prison environment was wrong -- that the inmates were too dehumanized by the whole process. I had to remind her that society deserves protection, too. She begrudgingly agreed.
I am still processing. I don't know that I am capable of figuring out HOW I feel about it all. More likely in a day or two I will find a way to proceed around it. It was overwhelming, and my spirit struggled to breathe.
What a day.
Today was Criminal Justice Day for my Leadership group. We started out by meeting at the city's police station. Our police chief talked to us, then the gangs guy, then the Juvenile Courts Counselor, then the District Judge. He was followed by two social service agencies, both partially privately-funded, who serve juveniles who have run afoul of the law. Then we had lunch. Whew. A full morning.
Following lunch, we boarded a city bus which took us to the edge of town to visit our high-rise prison. Well, for our town it's high-rise. I guess it's about 10 stories? The highest building in Our Fair City is 8. :)
The woman who gave us our tour was phenomenal. She's a case worker for the inmates and gave us a detailed tour of the facility. We walked in the "yard," surrounded by walls topped with coiled razor wire. We were stared at by the inmates as they pumped iron, played basketball, or just stood in the mild afternoon and chatted.
We saw the open showers and johns. We toured the dining hall. Our guide held up a plastic spork and asked how we would like to eat with these for 15 years. Yikes. Crime deterrent, there. No, all jokes aside, the public john is enough to deter me from ever committing a crime.
We toured the un-air-conditioned processing center. We saw the laundry area. There is a furniture factory on the grounds where well-behaved inmates can work, earning up to $10 a day. Most prison have Enterprise opportunities like this. Their products go back to the State.
Finally, we were escorted to a dayroom where four inmates told us about their prison experience as well as their crimes. Three of the four are convicted murderers, 1 first-degree, 2 second-degree, and the fourth fellow was convicted of aggrevated assault. They have all been in for about 15 years and the soonest one to get out will be released in 5 years.
They talked about what it's like to be in prison (you never, ever let your guard down.) They shared that every prisoner cries in bed at night on occasion. They talked about monotony, and missing your family. They were all attractive, young men, 1 black, 3 white; 1 shaved head, 3 with short hair. (We did observe some men in the yard with very long hair, so apparently short hair is not the only option.) They talked about their crimes, although not one of them stated, "I shot a man" -- the wording was always something like, "Someone got shot." They were articulate men, using words like "ironic" and "dogmatic." Had I seen them in another setting, and had the conversation been on another topic, I would never have thought they were convicts, much less killers. Our conversation with them was ended too, too quickly, and we had run out of time. We had to move on to see a SWAT demonstration and K9 unit across the county.
There are 23 people in our program. Bankers, social workers, a hospital administrator, a couple of private business employees, 4 county or city workers, and me. As we walked out of the prison, everyone was chatting, laughing, being very normal -- everyone except myself and one other person. The other gal was overwhelmed by the dehumanization of the whole thing. She felt there must be another to rehabilitate the offenders. She was able to explain clearly why she was emotional.
Me -- I was not so articulate. I was just blown away by the whole experience. Could not understand why everyone was joking and laughing as if things were normal. Why did they not need to be quiet and process all they had just seen? Why were they so loud? I found it annoying, and this further exacerbated my frustration.
I still don't know how I feel -- just that I FEEL. I'm not quite the bleeding heart that my friend was. She felt the prison environment was wrong -- that the inmates were too dehumanized by the whole process. I had to remind her that society deserves protection, too. She begrudgingly agreed.
I am still processing. I don't know that I am capable of figuring out HOW I feel about it all. More likely in a day or two I will find a way to proceed around it. It was overwhelming, and my spirit struggled to breathe.
What a day.
Wednesday, December 12
Hope
Our church recently adopted an elementary school with a high percentage of youth from low-income homes. In fact, it's the school LO went to.
Schools are rated as "high risk" based on their percentage of students who apply for and receive free or reduced-price lunches. This school's percentage is over 70%.
By adopting the school, the church has encouraged all of us to volunteer one hour a week at the school, mentoring a student. You can go have lunch with him, arrange with the teacher for a time to read with him, or help her with math, --whatever the child needs -- and the recommended time is only 1 hour a week.
I signed up. I had tutored there throughout LO's 6 years there (K-5) and was active on PTA, etc, so I am quite comfortable there. All the staff know me and I know my way around.
I was not assigned to one student, but to a class, to read with children one at a time. There are about 6 students who don't have support at home to read every night and need someone to read to.
DH did not sign up, but a pretty up-front friend of his confronted him at Bible study about it. Now he attends with me when he is not working. My day to go is Wednesday, so he tags along on 2 or 3 Wednesdays a month. The kids seem to accept him well even though his attendance is pretty erratic.
I love reading with them. They bring their library book, sit next to me, open the book, and begin to read. I help them with hard words and encourage them. At the end of the book, I ask them to tell me what the book was about. They have to take a test on the book, so I try to be sure they comprehended it well before they go take the test. The test is on the computer and at this level, it's typically 5 multiple-choice questions. Missing only one question drops the score to an 80! So I review briefly with them.
At first I did not know the children. Of course, some are more personable than others. Some opened up immediately, while some took a while to warm up to me.
There is one child who took a while. Now, I do believe she enjoys seeing me. She has a crossed eye but I do not notice it anymore. Her name is about 10 or 12 letters long, but I think of her as Hope.
Several weeks ago, she asked me if I do not work. I told her I am a writer, so I get to work at home, and I can take a little break to come to the school and help. She smiled and replied, "I'm a writer, too." Oh, really? "Yes," she said. "I have a story in that red folder over there. I must read it to you sometime." I would like that, I said.
Today her book was especially long. Good, but long. As we progress through a book, her head gets closer and closer to the page. I worry if her glasses are strong enough. Today as we were about 3/4 done with the book, I asked if she were getting tired. "No," she said. "I love to read. I love to write, too. My story is over there in that red folder. I must read it to you sometime."
That's how it goes with volunteering. You start out thinking you are doing something for someone else, but you become richer every time.
This child reminds me of hope and optimism. She has an undeniable faith in herself. She believes anything is possible. She's not afraid.
I've got to ask the teacher if we can have a few minutes to get the red folder. Next week for sure.
Schools are rated as "high risk" based on their percentage of students who apply for and receive free or reduced-price lunches. This school's percentage is over 70%.
By adopting the school, the church has encouraged all of us to volunteer one hour a week at the school, mentoring a student. You can go have lunch with him, arrange with the teacher for a time to read with him, or help her with math, --whatever the child needs -- and the recommended time is only 1 hour a week.
I signed up. I had tutored there throughout LO's 6 years there (K-5) and was active on PTA, etc, so I am quite comfortable there. All the staff know me and I know my way around.
I was not assigned to one student, but to a class, to read with children one at a time. There are about 6 students who don't have support at home to read every night and need someone to read to.
DH did not sign up, but a pretty up-front friend of his confronted him at Bible study about it. Now he attends with me when he is not working. My day to go is Wednesday, so he tags along on 2 or 3 Wednesdays a month. The kids seem to accept him well even though his attendance is pretty erratic.
I love reading with them. They bring their library book, sit next to me, open the book, and begin to read. I help them with hard words and encourage them. At the end of the book, I ask them to tell me what the book was about. They have to take a test on the book, so I try to be sure they comprehended it well before they go take the test. The test is on the computer and at this level, it's typically 5 multiple-choice questions. Missing only one question drops the score to an 80! So I review briefly with them.
At first I did not know the children. Of course, some are more personable than others. Some opened up immediately, while some took a while to warm up to me.
There is one child who took a while. Now, I do believe she enjoys seeing me. She has a crossed eye but I do not notice it anymore. Her name is about 10 or 12 letters long, but I think of her as Hope.
Several weeks ago, she asked me if I do not work. I told her I am a writer, so I get to work at home, and I can take a little break to come to the school and help. She smiled and replied, "I'm a writer, too." Oh, really? "Yes," she said. "I have a story in that red folder over there. I must read it to you sometime." I would like that, I said.
Today her book was especially long. Good, but long. As we progress through a book, her head gets closer and closer to the page. I worry if her glasses are strong enough. Today as we were about 3/4 done with the book, I asked if she were getting tired. "No," she said. "I love to read. I love to write, too. My story is over there in that red folder. I must read it to you sometime."
That's how it goes with volunteering. You start out thinking you are doing something for someone else, but you become richer every time.
This child reminds me of hope and optimism. She has an undeniable faith in herself. She believes anything is possible. She's not afraid.
I've got to ask the teacher if we can have a few minutes to get the red folder. Next week for sure.
Tuesday, December 11
Solo at Band Concert
Little One's middle school band played at the local mall today. It was great! She had a solo in "Silent Night" on her flute. Here is a video of the solo. Her band director walked by 2 or 3 or maybe 4 times.
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Saturday, December 8
Juvie
This month for our Leadership program, the assignment was to visit court or ride with a policeman for the evening. I really wanted to ride with a cop, but decided to visit Juvenile Court and to take LO as she aspires to be a defense attorney when she grows up, possibly going on to be a judge later.
I wrote to the principal for permission for LO to miss school, excused, for this educational field trip, and she granted it. LO has to write a report on what she learned and make up any work she missed.
Court started at 9am and we had to have her back to school by 10:30. As it turns out, an hour and fifteen minutes was "aplenty." I'm not sure how much more I could have absorbed.
Two of my Leadership classmates attended this same session; we ran into each other there at the courthouse, so we sat together. They are two whom I really care for, and I was glad we shared the experience.
Without sharing too much, I will give a brief listing of some of the things we saw in just a little over an hour.
I wrote to the principal for permission for LO to miss school, excused, for this educational field trip, and she granted it. LO has to write a report on what she learned and make up any work she missed.
Court started at 9am and we had to have her back to school by 10:30. As it turns out, an hour and fifteen minutes was "aplenty." I'm not sure how much more I could have absorbed.
Two of my Leadership classmates attended this same session; we ran into each other there at the courthouse, so we sat together. They are two whom I really care for, and I was glad we shared the experience.
Without sharing too much, I will give a brief listing of some of the things we saw in just a little over an hour.
- We saw a case where the defendent was so young the attorney asked for a psych eval to see if he was mature enough to understand his wrongdoing and the consequences he faced. The judge agreed. His height was just a little above, say, my waist.
- We saw a 15 year old young woman who got into a fight at the high school because a girl was talking ugly about her baby's daddy. She attacked the girl in the guidance office. She kicked the other girl in the stomach.
- We saw a girl the same age as LO (12) who has been smoking marijuana for 3 years. She is dating a 15 year old fellow who has an outstanding charge for possession. The girl is charged with selling on the bus (felony).
- We saw a boy in the 8th grade who has been smoking marijuana since he was 9. He regretted his actions because he was kicked off the football team.
The judge demonstrated amazing talent at getting the story out of the youths. They would obscure, lie, and gloss over. He stuck with it and got the story out. He had a way of knowing when there was more to it than being told. I guess it comes from seeing it every day.
At one point, he was so exasperated with a parent, he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. I knew he was searching for the words -- he did not want to ask this parent, "How stupid can you be?" I chuckled and LO asked me what was funny. I told her we would talk later.
LO closely watched the defense attorneys, many of whom were court-appointed. She would remark, "This guy is good," or other comments as they made their pleas for their clients.
In retrospect, I am so glad we shared this experience. I look forward to seeing what she writes for the report. The spectre of this experience has been hanging over me for 24 hours now, and it was just an hour and a quarter.
The Next Day
After my intensive care on the sofa last night, ice on 20 minutes, off 20 minutes, repeat, I am proud to say my ankle is muchmuch better this morning. I can walk without great pain. It is not nearly as colorful, nor as painful, as I had feared. The knees are painful without color and I really believe I will be fine in a day or two.
LO had fun at her dance last night. It seems the girls dance with their gf's and the boys dance around them.
Her progress report this week was excellent with one little oopsie which she will address. Her reading grade was not an A. She has to have 35 pts a quarter for reading, and she selected a whopper of a book worth 30 pts. She is still reading it and so had zero reading pts averaged in with the rest of her grades, which were pretty good. Altogether it came out to a C, but it was mid-term progress report, not report card. We just aknowledged that's what progress reports are for -- to let you know where you need to catch up. I gave her a kiss for all her other grades, which were not only A's but high A's, all above 95%, and a smack on the fanny at the same time. A soft smack.
She has been reading like a madwoman since.
DH's violin is truly coming along. He sounds like a cat in heat only sometimes and his instructor is so proud of him.
My Artists' Way group is turning to be so great. We all started canvases (2 s's there or 1?) canvasses? --I believe it's one -- canvases about 5 weeks ago and then we drew names out of a hat and traded canvases. My canvas will visit the homes of each person in the group, who adds to the painting, and finally I get it back, a completed work of art with contributions from each member in the group. As each person paints on it, s/he signs the wooden stretcher on the back. It has been a lot of fun each week to get a new painting and decide what I want to add to it. We finish up next week and will start anew with the new year. I have learned a lot in the discussions and have enjoyed making new friends. I believe I will continue with the group in the new year.
LO had fun at her dance last night. It seems the girls dance with their gf's and the boys dance around them.
Her progress report this week was excellent with one little oopsie which she will address. Her reading grade was not an A. She has to have 35 pts a quarter for reading, and she selected a whopper of a book worth 30 pts. She is still reading it and so had zero reading pts averaged in with the rest of her grades, which were pretty good. Altogether it came out to a C, but it was mid-term progress report, not report card. We just aknowledged that's what progress reports are for -- to let you know where you need to catch up. I gave her a kiss for all her other grades, which were not only A's but high A's, all above 95%, and a smack on the fanny at the same time. A soft smack.
She has been reading like a madwoman since.
DH's violin is truly coming along. He sounds like a cat in heat only sometimes and his instructor is so proud of him.
My Artists' Way group is turning to be so great. We all started canvases (2 s's there or 1?) canvasses? --I believe it's one -- canvases about 5 weeks ago and then we drew names out of a hat and traded canvases. My canvas will visit the homes of each person in the group, who adds to the painting, and finally I get it back, a completed work of art with contributions from each member in the group. As each person paints on it, s/he signs the wooden stretcher on the back. It has been a lot of fun each week to get a new painting and decide what I want to add to it. We finish up next week and will start anew with the new year. I have learned a lot in the discussions and have enjoyed making new friends. I believe I will continue with the group in the new year.
Friday, December 7
Time Travel
Two of my sweet grandsons are interested lately in time travel, and it occurs to me how STILL time seems to stand, while you are, say, falling down the basement steps.
Things go through your mind, astute things, things like, "Hey, I -- am -- falling."
Things like, "I can't get hurt; I need to go see my MIL next week."
Things like, "Don't spill laundry all over the basement."
I felt that I would never land. I wound up on my back in the workshop withOUT a pair of drawers on my head, still holding the laundry basket. Did not spill a thing.
But I did scream. Yelled. Cried. LO came down the stairs and was sososo helpful. Called her Papaw. He talked to me on the phone and had me take inventory. I am fine, 2 sore knees and a sprained ankle.
Glad it's not worse. No blood, not a scratch, just very sore and mad that I fell. DH said he has been waiting for this to happen. Well. Now it has happened. Maybe it's over.
We had a date planned as LO had a school dance tonight. Instead, he served me wine, warm brie, sourdough bread, grapes and fresh blackberries as big as your thumb.
Hmm. Not such a bad fall, after all.
Things go through your mind, astute things, things like, "Hey, I -- am -- falling."
Things like, "I can't get hurt; I need to go see my MIL next week."
Things like, "Don't spill laundry all over the basement."
I felt that I would never land. I wound up on my back in the workshop withOUT a pair of drawers on my head, still holding the laundry basket. Did not spill a thing.
But I did scream. Yelled. Cried. LO came down the stairs and was sososo helpful. Called her Papaw. He talked to me on the phone and had me take inventory. I am fine, 2 sore knees and a sprained ankle.
Glad it's not worse. No blood, not a scratch, just very sore and mad that I fell. DH said he has been waiting for this to happen. Well. Now it has happened. Maybe it's over.
We had a date planned as LO had a school dance tonight. Instead, he served me wine, warm brie, sourdough bread, grapes and fresh blackberries as big as your thumb.
Hmm. Not such a bad fall, after all.
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