Deep Thoughts on... Poison Ivy

I must say I was so relieved last night when my DH said, "I don't know how on earth you get poison ivy every year. We just do not have any to be seen in our yard."

So many people ask me accusingly, "Don't you know what it looks like? You just need to stay away from it!"

It makes me feel a little like an idiot.

DH mowed Wednesday and I worked the periphery, pulling the tall blades of grass from between my impatiens, and thinning the mint that tries to dominate my flower bed.

I can see the headlines now : Mint: The New Kudzu.

But that's off-topic.

So I did those two things, and now I have red patches with high yellow-filled blisters on my arms, face, and behind an ear. Another red patch has sprouted in the little hollow at my throat.

I sponged makeup on the portion of my face last night, so I could greet at the Youth Theater. When I got home, it was really hot and angry. Obviously did not like makeup.

DH was annoyed that I had not headed straightaway for a shot. Now the dr. office is closed and I'm sprouting more postules by the hour.

I called the doctor's office and had the service page the doctor on call. I explained my predicament, and told him I can waste money on all the bottles at the drug store, but the only thing that relieves poison ivy for me is a shot. Because their office is closed, he offered to call in a prescription of Prednizone for me.

Then I approached the vanity issue.

"Um, doctor, in addition to the pain and discomfort, I, uh, wonder about the appearance. You see, I serve on City Council. I have to be on TV Tuesday, and don't want to look like, uh, like a Freak of Nature. Are there any old-time poultices I can use that might work?"

He laughed. and laughed. and laughed.

I got a little defensive. "You'd be sensitive about it, too, if it were you!"

"Yes, I would," he acknowledged. "In my opinion, none of those things work. I recommend Calamine and makeup, ma'am."

At least he called in the meds.