Graduation

It's not something I would actually choose to do for fun, but I attended four graduations in the past week-and-a-half: one college and 3 high schools.

I have come to some conclusions about graduations.

1.) Crying baby required. The mom always has a bottle handy, but she allows the crying baby to pretty much ruin things before stepping over 20 people and scurrying out the door. A few of the babies I observed were blowing snot bubbles out their noses by the time they were seen to.

2.) America's economy must not be hurting too badly when 2,000 people in the same room all have digital cameras.

3.) Wardrobe. Not the graduates -- they all wear pretty much the same thing. The parents, however, geez louise. The gamut ran from prom dresses to profane Tshirts.

4.) IF THERE WAS EVER AN OCCASION TO MUTE YOUR CELL PHONE, THIS IS IT.

5.) Despite the provost/principal/superintendent's best request, people cannot contain themselves when a relative graduates. The nicer people silently stood, as requested. The rest hollered, whooped, whistled, and yowled. There was one comment that made me smile. One sheepish, very tall boy loped across the stage with a broad grin, and his mom yelled, "Prraise God!" I could only imagine.

6.)America is in serious need of original valedictorian speeches.

7.) Plan ahead. The graduation is at x:00. Arrive at w:00 so you can find a parking space. And there is no need to yell at the organization/superintendents/policemen that there is not enough parking. They can't do anything about it. Come early and grab a spot, or come early enough to park a few blocks and walk over before it begins.

8.) Let your young child bring the Nintendo, the CD viewer, or whatever he needs to be entertained. It's a long time to sit and he just can't pay attention that long. If you must, rouse him from his concentration for the split-second that Junior gets his diploma.

9.) Even if you are in the South, wait til you get home to have that Mountain Dew. This is a nice event.