Friday, January 4

Fresh Finance

Every couple of years, I sharpen my pencil and call all the service providers I can, to renegotiate our rates. Sometimes I change providers in order to get a better rate. Last time I did this was July, 2006.
I began calling yesterday. In particular, DH and I had identified our cable-internet-phone bill as one that we would like to trim. We currently pay $120 for all three services combined, 'way better than the old days when we paid $50 per service, but we would like to cut it further.
Before I go into my diatribe, I'd like to share that our provider is not some backwoods two-time provider. Nay, au contraire. We use the combined services of famed Time-Life publishing and Warner Brothers film moguls. Time-Warner Cable, a multi-million dollar, nationwide, service provider. All technologies at their grasp. Money is no object. Surely their customer service will far exceed any we've encountered before.

One cut we can obviously make is the $9.99 a month we pay for wireless service. This comes to a total of $120 a year, when a good fast router can be purchased for far less.
A week ago, we disconnected the router and ran the line directly into our modem, and lost internet connectivity on our desktop. Called our ISP. "Reboot the pc and modem," he directed us, and hung up to take other calls. We did this, to no avail. Getting busy signals, we just reconnected everything with the intention of calling later.
So I called the ISP (which is also our phone and cable provider) yesterday, to renegotiate our rates as well as resolve the router issue.
First, being keyboard-friendly, and recognizing the wait times for online chats are 'way quicker than phone, I tried to use our ISP's online chat service. Each time an agent would come online, my keyboard would lock up. I have in my inbox three "chat transcripts" that report that I had hung up on them.
So I called technical service. The first three calls received busy signals from the 800 number -- an indicator that they have undersized their calling queues. (I used to manage calling centers.)
After getting an actual ring, and navigating my way through the "press this, press that," I got an actual guy who said he would transfer me to someone who could answer my question. I held on and got -- dial tone.
Not to be discouraged, I gallantly tried again. Busy.
Finally, I decided to opt for the sales division to try to barter our way to a better rate. Unsurprisingly, I did not receive busy signals from the sales division. I keyed my telephone number in when requested, then recited it for the agent who answered the call. I identified our services for him and explained I would like a better rate. Not possible, he replied, telling me that we have the cheapest package offered. "What if we downgrade from digital cable service to normal cable?" I asked. He advised me that our rates will go UP if we do this, as our package price is for three digital services -- digital phone, digital cable, and digital internet. If we stray from the digital arena, we go to an alacarte plan, losing our tremendous discount.
A former ISP, the one DS1 used to work for, had a rate just especially for those who threatened to leave. So, I threatened to leave.
Now, you'd think I'd be smart enough to recognize a company that truly does not care. Their online chat freezes up the keyboard. Their calling queues return busy signals. They drop my call in transfer. They require redundant identification, both keying in the number and telling the agent. I have at least average intelligence. Yet, I plundered on. Blundered? Perhaps.
"I guess I'll just have to call Verizon and find out what their rates are," I threatened.
"If that's what you want to do, go ahead," replied this superslick agent.
I looked at my handset. Dial tone.
Hmm.

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