Observations on Crime

As some of you may know, I have recently been helping in the local paper's newsroom, completing the most mundane of tasks: writing the local crime blotter. It goes like this: the captain faxes or emails in a summary of crimes. We print it off and I try to make heads or tails of it, keeping it succinct but interesting.
Example.
Jones, John (WM31) 10.28.1977, 413 Easy Street: DWLR, DWI, PI, DLC. $500.
....becomes:
John Henry Jones, 31, 413 Easy St. was arrested on charges of driving while license revoked, driving while impaired, parole infractions, and driving left of center; $500 bond, Dec. 17.
I get the middle name from the police website while grabbing John Henry's mug shot. I translate the infractions from memory; there does not exist a table of definitions, not in our newsroom, anyway, and I get the date from the header on the police sheet.

BTW, it's amazing how many people who are arrested live on Easy Street.

I have written about 4 zillion of these in only 7 weeks. I sit in the newsroom among the remaining journalists and listen to them or tune them out. I listen to the police scanner in the background or tune it out. I type like the wind and think about these poor sad people and what their lives must be like.

The 17 year old who was arrested for shoplifting a pregnancy test from Wal-Mart. Her troubles have only just begun.

The 17 year old who was arrested for driving after consuming alcohol with only a provisional license. I hope his parents grounded him for a year.

The hapless drug salesman who was found to have 17 bags of marijuana, a pipe and scales on his person when he was questioned for shoplifting. I hope he gets a brain transplant.

The 100 various people who have stolen a beer, or two, or three, or a case, or two, or three from a certain gas station in town: wow. Steal beer? Doesn't that sort of suck the fun out of drinking it? Or does it add to it?

The folks who broke into a small, make that very small, grocery on the edge of a college campus and stole beer, canned items, chips, cigarettes, and gum. Hope the party was fun.

The men who beat up on women. Grr.

As you can see, I think of each one. In some cases I pray for the criminals and in some cases, I pray for their victims. I am in a privileged position to see it all.

We do not print crimes involving minors, arrests for failure to appear in court (they are too numerous to run), bad checks less than $25, traffic infractions unless they involve other infractions, and many others. I do have a list of these.

They say in the newsroom the list has more than doubled this fall. I get paid to write it all. Lucky me. Really: lucky me.