I heard that Ikea will deliver as much as you can purchase for $69 total if you live within 40 miles of the store. I googled the map. We're 32 miles away. I announced my intention to DH. He was shocked that I would consider delivery.
"I'll just put the roof rack on the car and you can get someone to tie your boxes on it."
I shuddered.
If they deliver it and drop it, they give me a new one. Remember, it's glass. If it flies off the roof as I zoom down the interstate, no one gives me a new one. I'm out the money AND the desk.
As The Big Day approached, I began to telephone gf's in search of a chum to accompany me. One evening, DH remarked, "Remember how much we enjoyed going to Ikea together in DC?"
Ah. "Do YOU want to go to the opening with me?"
He did. So I stopped trying to cajole my gf's into going on this crazy excursion with me. Good. He can handle the roof rack.
The idea began to seem even crazier when we read in the local paper (a fine publication, btw) that Ikea was going to allow people to camp on the doorstep two days ahead of the opening.
Really.
So the day approached. DH had the day off. We had to drop LO at the theater uptown that morning at 8am. She is in the kids' production of The Tempest and gets to miss school for a few days. I'm pretty sure that's why she goes out for plays. To miss school.
So we planned to drop her and get on the road at 8. The store would open at 9.
The night before, I commented, "Do you think we'll sit in the car for an hour?"
"Nah!" DH replied.
The day dawned cold, gray, and wet. Drizzling rain and cold winds. Our trip was pleasant enough and we exited the interstate at 9 straight up. Cold wet police directed us to turn away from the store to join the line of cars waiting for entry. "They're going to be out of meatballs," DH muttered.
I noticed my cell phone was almost dead. Dang. Why didn't I think to charge it last night? If we got separated, I couldn't call DH.
It took us an hour to reach the bridge across the interstate. As we neared the store, we saw police cars parked across the entry. The parking lot was full and they were turning cars away.
As we drove past the store, we saw pedestrians valiantly pushing babies in strollers in the cold and rain to the store. Ikea diehards. I identified. I rolled down the window. "WHERE'D YOU PARK?" I yelled. "Turn right up ahead! There's a strip mall down the road! Park there!"
We were off.
We found the strip mall, 2.5 short miles from Ikea. The rain cleared up. All we had to do was walk in the cold. Red clay mud medians were covered in straw. The mud tried to suck the shoes off my feet as we crossed. Another red clay hill, covered in straw, lay between us and the store. "Walk sideways so you won't fall into traffic," DH advised me. He held my hand to keep me steady. Aw. This is why I married this man. Remind me next time I grumble.
It was cold. Damp. Yucky. I was undaunted. "They're going to be out of meatballs," DH said.
As we crossed to the parking lot, the cops were once again letting cars in. "By the time you go for yours, we'll have it closed again!" The traffic cop was unusually perky for a cold and wet day.
We entered with streams of likewise Ikea-crazy patrons. Made use of the facilities. The paper-towel trash can in the ladies room was already almost full, and they had been open only 1.5 hours. The trash can was the huge kind, 4' tall and about 2.5' across.
We received "random gift cards" as we entered. Typically the Door Prize Queen, I excitedly ripped mine open. I fully expected to see a $1,000 shopping spree.
One free cinnamon roll. Hmph.
DH got, buy one yogurt, get one free. Hmph.
For the uninitiated, I'll explain that Ikea has one path for shopping. You have to follow the circuit. They have integrated a few shortcuts to this department or that one, but overall, you have to follow the yellow brick road.
"They're gonna be out of meatballs," he said.
When we finally made it to the office section, the drawer units I had studied online were not at all what I thought they were. A salesman showed me a much, much better option, and I made my decision. I walked away with two pieces of paper; one for getting my desktop from the self-serve section and one for getting the drawer units from the place where the workers get them for you.
We wound through the store to find the stairs down so we could check out. On the way, we came to the cafe. "AH! It's not full! Let's go get you some meatballs!"
"I don't want any meatballs."
Remind me again why I ...? Oh yeah, he helped me in the mud.
DH helped me find the desktop in the appropriate "bin" downstairs and load it on the flatbed buggy. I lined up to check out. Gazing out the windows, he was dubious about getting into the parking lot to load up the cartons.
"Just sweet-talk the cop and tell him you have to load purchases," I smiled at him.
He did not seem at all comfortable with this plan. It made perfect sense to me.
We suffered through an uncomfortable 5 minutes when it seemed my desk, so near now, was not going to happen.
Finally, I left the checkout line and found a manager. I explained that I was trying to purchase furniture and my DH was concerned that he could not get through to the parking lot to load it up.
"I was just out there. There are several parking places and they are letting people in. See?" He pointed out the window, and there were, in fact, moving cars across on the service road.
I returned to DH with the good news. He set off for the 2.5 mile hike as I paid for my purchases. I was wishing my phone had power.
The full-serve area already had my drawer units loaded on another flatbed buggy. Some very cute young men moved boxes from one flatbed buggy to another so I only had one buggy to navigate outside to the loading dock.
I sat inside the warm store on a bench facing windows and watched for DH to appear. Turned my phone on, called him. "Where are you now?" Turned it back off. Waited five minutes. Turned it on. "Where are you now?"
Finally I saw his car at the crossing, then on the service road, then in the parking lot.
I wheeled the cart outside and we loaded it up. Drove home and he unloaded my desktop from the car. EEeerk. Dropped it. I could envision shattered glass inside, but thank you God, when we opened it, we found one teensy chip on the edge, which we oriented to the rear of the desk.
DH assembled everything in record time and I love my new desk.
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