The Felon

So, it was last Wednesday. Gorgeous spring day, warm. The mockingbirds were singing to high heaven, the sun was shining, and all was right with the world.



It was 9:00. I had already taken Little One to school, tutored my Bright Young Lad at the elementary school, and had a good cuppa java. I was motoring through Nearby Small Town, probably humming, and listening to -- you guessed it, NPR on the radio.



The first thing I noticed was the wild look on the officer's face as his car approached mine. He was facing me, and he wore the stricken look that a man wears when he catches a very large fish. Or when the attractive neighbor leaves her blinds open. That look of, of.."PAYDAY!"



He flipped on his blue lights and hung a Louie right there in the middle of the road.



I

was

nabbed.



OK, so I have lived in NC for 15 years now and this is the FIRST speeding ticket I have gotten since moving here.



I did ask him not to give me a ticket. Told him I was on the way to yoga class, and it would totally ruin my Karma.



He didn't care.



So for the past 5 days, I have done the only thing I could do in a case like this.



I ignored it.



Finally, today, I addressed it, and I have to say it is quite a maze for the uninitiated.



I asked the policeman at the time how much the fine would be. In fact, there is a blank on the back of the ticket where he was supposed to fill in what the fine would be. He told me I would have to call. He did not mention that the number I needed to call is nowhere to be found on the stupid ticket, nor on the accompanying "ATTENTION MOTORIST" information.



Because the fine is payable at the Clerk of Court's office, I looked that number up in the phone book.



Not in there.



So I called the County's general administrative number and got it. Called. The fine is: $170.



$170.



Do I get a cut rate for not having had a ticket in the past?



No. The charge is $170.



These people have absolutely no sense of humor. Didn't care about my Karma. Don't care about my frikkin clean record.



$170.



So, I explain, I haven't had a ticket before and I have heard that I have to have points on my record from this. Can you explain it?



Call the DMV.



Do you have the number?



No.



So I look up the number in the phone book. Actually, the only number listed is the local Driver's License office. So I call it and they refer me to the NC DMV. At least they have the number.



So I call the State DMV in Raleigh. And while I'm on hold, (for FORTY minutes) it occurs to me, how extremely difficult this is. How hard would it be for someone without the literacy to get all these numbers? Without the assertion to speak up for himself? To ask questions? For someone without the means to stay on hold, long distance, for FORTY minutes? (Actually I did not pay for long distance for forty minutes; we have digital phone service so all our calls, in North America anyway, are included in one flat, and very cheap, rate.) But, what if I could not afford digital service? And, btw, it was not a 1-800 number.

I have to remark here on how idiosyncratic the voice system is at the NCDMV. After pressing "1" for this and "2" for that, the recording says, "Attention, attention! Please notice that we are experiencing heavier-than-normal call volume. Please hang on the line and your call will be answered in the order that it arrived." ...all of which is pretty normal, except the "attention, attention" part. Having made it through that part, the hanging-on part is punctuated every 120 seconds by, "Please be aware that our operators are busy helping callers just like you. We appreciate your patience." I wonder if they are just like me. Tall? Chubby? Delusions of intelligence? Addicted to Smithsonian Magazine, Wall Street Journal, and online Sudoku?

Finally I get Donald at "the call center." How odd to me that the DMV has a call center. He takes my information and confirms that I have a totally clean record. This episode will give me 2 points on my driving record. Is that bad? I ask. What are the repercussions? Well, if you accumulate 12 points within 3 years, you lose your license. How much will my insurance go up? Well, he says, this is DMV points. Your insurance company will give you your insurance points. You have to call them and ask them.

I call our auto insurance office. We use a local carrier for a well-known national insurance company. We use them for our homeowners and auto insurance. We have used them since we were married 13 years ago. It is actually a relief to talk to someone with some customer service skills. She tells me that this will put 1 point on my insurance record. That it will not cost me much, only $50 to $100 additional on my insurance, every 6 months for 3 years.

This is 300 to 600 dollars out of our pockets. You don't think this is much money?

I also find out, I won't say where, that I can likely go to the DA and ask for a Prayer for Judgment. This is saying, in effect, "I have a totally clean driving record, so, please, dear Judge, won't you consider this a Big Terrible Warning and let's overlook the whole nasty incident?" If he allows it, I get off just paying court costs, no points on either my driving record or my insurance. How much are court costs? "Only" 60 to 90 dollars. It will help if I go online to NCDMV and order a certified copy of my clean driving record. Take that with me when I visit the DA's office.

So. My options are:

1. Pay $170 fine, suffer 2 driving points and 1 insurance point, and pay a total of $300-600 over 3 years.
2. Pay an attorney somewhere around $500, suffer no points, suffer no increase in insurance. (Come to think of it, he probably does the PFJ thing himself.)
3. Visit the DA's office, ask for a PFJ, pay $11 for the certified driving record, pay $60-90 court costs.

For now, I am opting for #3.

And, I am watching my speed. My Karma is still a little off.