Blog.

I haven't blogged in several days. There are two reasons, and both might be legitimate, or perhaps neither is legitimate. And besides, who gets to decide whether they are legitimate? I guess I do. And so, both are legitimate. 

First of all, fall is a horrifically busy time of year for any parent. We wear dual hats, grandparents as parents. We spoil with the one hand and discipline with the other. It's tennis season. And band time. And there are football games. And PTA. And after-school clubs. And homework. And tutoring, piano, and normal old friends to visit. Nana's cab runs miles and miles. 

Second of all, I have not blogged because I have had something on my mind. Some folks blog a lot when they are upset or sad. I stay away from blogging, for fear that I might say something I might regret. 

Here it is: My dear son is being deployed to hostile regions for the fourth time. 

He just wants to be home with his family.

He does not complain. He signed up for the military, after all. It should not come as any surprise. 

But, speaking as a mom, four times??

He's been to Iraq twice. He's been to Afghanistan already. And now he's going back. For seven months. 

I shared this with someone who I don't know too well, and that person said, Oh, he'll be fine. Afghanistan is safe. 

It made me angrier still. 

The military plucked up this precious little family and moved them to Japan, a zillion miles away from everyone they know. 

They are good sports. They have learned some Japanese. They have gone to real events there, not just the tourist traps. They garden. They buy different food than they are used to. They have really made it a learning experience. 

So now here they are, a zillioin bazillion miles from all family support, and he's sent to..Afghanistan. 

The other 3 times I got to hug him goodbye. 

I have tried to learn from his blog -- yes, he blogs, most of our family does. He has a rare talent for looking at a situation objectively and assessing it with his definitely wacko sense of humor. 

I wish I could do that in this situation. I really do, but anger blinds me. Confusion sets in. I really just don't understand war. 

Yes, I am proud that he wants to serve his country. I am prouder still that he wants to be at home with his wife and children. 

And so, I haven't blogged. I have brooded. I have cleaned. I have walked. 

And I imagine I will brood, clean and walk more than normal for about 7 months.